How to Stop Feeling Drained Mentally & Emotionally Heavy as a Military Wife

Is life feeling a bit heavy these days? Do you feel emotionally overwhelmed by your experiences and responsibilities? Are you drained mentally, emotionally, and physically–almost as if everything you do weighs more than usual, so you’re burning your energy faster? Feeling emotionally heavy, drained, and overwhelmed is something we all experience as military wives. The question is, what can you do about it? Keep reading to learn my best tips for how to stop feeling drained emotionally. 

How to Stop Feeling Drained Mentally and Emotionally Heavy

If you’re asking yourself questions like, “Why do I feel exhausted emotionally?” “How do I feel less emotionally heavy?” and “Why is it so hard to be a military wife?” you’re in the right place. I’ve had those very questions, and the questions only feel heavier the heavier life gets. I’ve also discovered a superpower that can help you feel lighter instantly: your thoughts. Here’s how to stop feeling drained mentally and emotionally by adjusting your mindset.

1. Identify the Culprit

Once you know who or what is causing you to feel emotionally overwhelmed, drained, and heavy, you can take action. So, who is the culprit? Finish this sentence: “I feel heavy because…” What is happening with your house, kids, job, spouse, etc., that’s making you feel heavy?

Spoiler alert: the only reason we ever feel any way is because of how we’re thinking about it.

While you might have said, “I feel heavy because the roof is leaking,” it’s actually not your leaking roof that’s making you feel heavy. It’s how you’re thinking about the roof–perhaps how much money it will take to fix it.

While you might have said, “I feel heavy because my husband is gone, and I’m solo parenting,” it’s actually not your parenting responsibilities that are making you feel heavy. It’s how you’re thinking about your responsibilities–perhaps how long it’s been since you’ve had “me time.”

Do you see where I’m going with this? Right now, you’re feeling heavy because you’re thinking heavy thoughts about your life, spouse, children, or responsibilities. Understanding this subtle shift in your mindset is essential to stop feeling drained mentally and emotionally. It doesn’t magically make the heaviness disappear, but it puts you in control of experiencing something “lighter.”

When something is happening to you and is outside of your control, you have very little power over it. This thinking is what gets us stuck in our heaviness. But as soon as you help your brain realize that you feel emotionally overwhelmed because you’re thinking overwhelming thoughts, everything changes. You become empowered to make a change.  

Try This Exercise When You’re Feeling Drained Emotionally

Think about the specific thing that is making you feel heavy—for example, motherhood and the responsibilities that come with parenting. 

Have you always felt drained by these responsibilities? 

Your answer is likely no. Most likely, there’s been times you’ve felt neutral or even fulfilled by your parenting responsibilities. But right now, you’re feeling drained. The thing–“motherhood” or “parenting responsibilities”–never changes, but your experience of the responsibilities changes. And our experiences are always created by our thoughts and beliefs about something.

2. Let Yourself Feel Heavy

Once you take ownership of your feelings, the control shifts back to you. This is empowering, but before you make a change, let yourself feel heavy. Now you know you can solve the problem, but you don’t need to solve it right away. 

Instead, make space for your feelings. Give yourself some love. Complain and vent to yourself. Your feelings are valid. You may not enjoy how you feel, and you may want to change, but first, you need to be seen, heard, and understood. And the most valuable person to see, hear, and understand you is yourself.

3. Clean Up Your Thinking

Once you’re done letting yourself feel your feelings, it’s time to clean up your thinking. The best way to do this is to think about what you’ve thought in the past when life didn’t feel so heavy. What types of thoughts were you thinking when you were enjoying motherhood or feeling motivated at your job? Intentionally think “lighter,” motivating, inspirational thoughts. Think of things that provide you with a sense of purpose and capability. You’ll feel the heaviness lift as you start to intentionally think about your situation and responsibilities differently. 

Does a Looming Deployment Have You Feeling Emotionally Heavy?

As a military wife, deployments can be one of the hardest things for you and your family. If you’re dreading your spouse’s upcoming deployment or are currently in the midst of one, you probably feel emotionally overwhelmed more than usual. That is completely normal, but it doesn’t have to be your experience. As a resilience coach for military wives, I can support you during this time to help you thrive during deployments. 

Whether you want to learn how to stay emotionally connected to your spouse while they’re away, overcome feelings of overwhelm, or become ok being alone, I can help. As a 14+ year military wife, I’ve been through it all. Navigating deployments and solo parenting can be challenging, but there’s a way to do it so that you don’t feel drained mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Curious to know more? Let’s hop on a call and chat about what you’re experiencing, and I’ll provide my best tips and advice for how to thrive during this time. Schedule a free mini coaching call with me today!