Military deployments are hard on everyone involved. Trust me; my family has been there. Not only do we as wives worry about the safety of our spouses, but we also have to manage all the household tasks and responsibilities by ourselves. It can be isolating. Whether you’ve experienced a deployment before or you’re preparing for your first one, it’s a daunting feeling. Fortunately, many military wife support resources are available to help you prepare for and experience your spouse’s military deployment.
How Does Deployment Affect Marriage?
My biggest concern when my husband and I decided whether or not to join the military was how deployments would affect our marriage. I quickly shifted my thinking to remember that all marriages go through hard times, and we can use challenges to strengthen our relationship. As a couple, we committed to each other that we would intentionally take the challenges of deployments as an opportunity for growth. It hasn’t been easy; sometimes we do really well, and sometimes we don’t. But overall, being in the military has strengthened our marriage.
How Do Wives Deal with Deployment?
Deployments affect all marriages differently, but you can set yourself and your spouse up for success. You get to determine how deployment affects your marriage to an extent. Your thoughts play a significant role in how you feel connected while he’s away. You can quite literally strengthen or weaken your relationship by your thoughts alone. Here are two examples of how I deal with deployment by managing my thoughts.
1. I Buy Myself Flowers When He’s Gone
I love flowers, and I love my husband. So when he’s gone, I buy myself flowers on his behalf. Even though he doesn’t actually purchase them, I buy them for me from him. And every time I walk by my flowers, I think of my husband. I think of how much he loves me, misses me, and cannot wait to be with me again. I think about these things because they impact how connected I feel to him, even when he’s not there. #notafriadtobuymyselfflowers
2. I Re-read Love Letters from Basic Training or Other Deployments
Rather than thinking, “I wonder if he’s thinking about me,” I tell myself, “He never stops thinking about me. He loves me and misses me so much.” And I look for and find all the evidence I can to support this belief. Instead of worrying about the possible disconnection during deployments, I focus on feeling connected to my husband by reading our past love letters. When I think about how much my husband loves me, and I find proof to support those beliefs (even if it’s proof from years ago), I feel wonderful, loved, and connected to him. While thinking about memories might make you miss him more, at least you’re missing amazing things that make you happy.
Some deployments require more work than others to create feelings of connection, but it’s always possible. You can feel completely connected to your spouse amid lousy internet connections, time differences, and boring conversations. You can minimize the effects of those outside circumstances by keeping your thoughts focused on seeking connection in whatever way possible. As military wives, we can create the exact relationship we want by intentionally thinking thoughts that create feelings of connection and love for our spouse. That’s how I deal with deployment and encourage you to try it too!
For more military wife support resources on this subject, check out my podcast, Simply Resilient: Episode 28 – How To Feel Crazy Connected to Your Husband Even When He’s Deployed
How Do You Find Military Wife Support During Deployment?
As a Military Wife Life Coach, my goal is to help military wives dealing with deployment find the support and encouragement they need. I don’t want you just to survive deployment but thrive during your separation and feel even more connected to yourself and your spouse. I provide military wife support in the form of my military spouse podcast, military wife blog, and military wife life coaching services.
Simply Resilient Military Spouse Podcast and Blog
Simply Resilient is my podcast for military wives, where I share practical tips from my personal experience as a 14-year military wife dealing with deployment. No topics are off-limits–I get personal and vulnerable to help you realize you’re not alone. Military wife life is not for the faint of heart. You need support. You need to know there’s someone else out there experiencing the same struggles and challenges as you. That’s me. I’m that “someone else” who knows what you’re going through and wants to help you move through it better than before. From my podcast episodes to my blog posts, I share real-life experiences and examples to provide you with the support, encouragement, and tools you need to thrive during deployments and beyond.
Simply Resilient Military Wife Life Coaching
As a certified life coach, I also provide one-on-one resiliency training sessions. I want to help you learn how to manage your thoughts and emotions so they work for you, not against you. Thought work is the reason I’ve been able to thrive instead of merely survive during deployments. But it’s not easy. I want to provide you with the military wife support you need to experience deployments in the best way possible. As with all of my resources, no topics are off-limits during one-on-one coaching sessions.
Connect with Simply Resilient for Military Wife Support
Deployments can be difficult for both the service member and their spouse. As a military wife, it’s important to connect with others who understand what you are going through. Reading blogs and listening to podcasts on relevant topics will help you realize you’re not alone. You’ll also find useful tips and advice from wives who’ve been through deployments before. As a Military Wife Life Coach, I’ve been able to help many women make everything about military life better. If you’re interested in learning more about my coaching programs and want to see if we’re a good fit, you can schedule a free mini-coaching session with me! I’d love to provide you with military wife support in any way I can.
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