How to Feel More Confident as a Military Wife, Mother, and Woman

You’re here because you’re looking for new ideas, thoughts, and ways to feel more confident. And I’m so glad you’re here because confidence feels amazing. And you deserve to feel amazing! Whether you’re looking for how to be a confident mom, how to be a confident wife, or how to be a confident woman–no matter what hats you wear as a military spouse–confidence is available to you all the time. So, let’s dive into how to feel more confident today!

Here’s How to Feel More Confident

Confidence isn’t a result of knowing how to do something well or being an expert. Your confidence is rooted in your thoughts. So, to help you learn how to feel more confident, I’m going to have you do a “Confidence Science Experiment.” It goes like this. 

Step 1: Think About Times in the Past When You Felt Confident

We’ve all felt confident at one time or another. I want you to think of a specific time when you were extremely confident, whether you felt sure of yourself as a mom, assertive as a businesswoman, or self-assured in your role as a military wife. 

Now, think about how you felt in those moments and what you were able to accomplish when you were confident. The secret to feeling confident today is choosing to think the same thoughts you were thinking when you felt confident in the past. The circumstances might be different, but you were able to think and believe confidence-boosting thoughts in those moments. And you can do the same today.

Step 2: Rearrange How You Think About Confidence

We tend to get it backwards when we think about confidence. We say, “When I’m doing well, I feel confident.” But the opposite is actually true. When you think confidence-boosting thoughts, you feel confident, show up confidently, and take action from that confidence, which produces exciting results that make you feel even more confident. 

Because confidence tends to lead to positive results, we begin to correlate confidence with actions. But it’s important to remember that your thoughts and feelings build your confidence, which leads to amazing results. It always starts with your thoughts. 

Step 3: Thinking Confident Thoughts When You Want to Feel Confident

The first part of how to feel more confident is to think confident thoughts. The second part is to think those thoughts at the moment you want to feel confident. While I think affirmations are great, most people say them at a scheduled time, like first thing in the morning or before you go to bed. But I want you to think confident thoughts when you need confidence the most.

Some confident thoughts to try include:

• I am worthy.
• I am smart.
• I am a fantastic wife.
• I can do this.
• I am a good mother.
• I am capable.
• I have what it takes.
• I am a strong woman.

When you come into the heat of a moment where you need and want to feel confident, practice thinking thoughts like those.

Step 4: Practice the Skill of Building Confidence By Practicing Confident Thoughts

When you start to practice confident thinking, you’ll notice your brain will have some things to say about it. Sometimes, your brain will accept the thoughts and help you feel more confident. Other times, your brain will reject the thoughts. When you’re trying something new or attempting something you’ve failed at before, it brings up vulnerabilities. And your brain might fight harder against your confident thoughts, telling you how you can’t do it or that you will fail again. 

Knowing how your brain reacts when you think confident thoughts can help you and your brain. You can respond to your brain’s protest and build evidence to question and refute it while supporting yourself. 

What About Self-Confidence–How Do You Build That?

Feeling confident while completing a task or trying something new is a little different than feeling confident in who you are. Self-confidence does not require any action or evidence. You can choose to be confident in who you are by:

• Having your own back
• Taking care of yourself
• Being nice to yourself
• Cheering yourself on
• Thinking nice thoughts about yourself

Self-confidence is an island. The circumstances don’t matter. Your success, actions, circumstances, results, other people’s praise, opinions, or acknowledgments don’t result in self-confidence. The only thing that does is what you decide to think about yourself. Of course, all those other things are really fun and great too, but they aren’t essential to your self-confidence. You don’t have to wait for anyone or anything to feel more confident today. 

Are You Ready to Step into Your Full Potential as a Military Wife, Mother, and Woman?

You have what it takes to be the person you want to be, even when life is hard and overwhelming. And I want to help you tap into that potential with military wife life coaching. Learn about my services and schedule a free coaching call to start today!

Interested in diving into more content on this topic? Check out these Simply Resilient Podcast episodes: 

• Summer How-to Series: How to Feel More Confident
• Simply Resilient Podcast Episode 76: Self Confidence
• Simply Resilient Podcast Episode 96: Self Confidence Week 1