Wondering, “How do military wives deal with deployment?” I’m going to let you in on our secret: we don’t pretend it’s not happening. We prepare and utilize military spouse tips for deployment to make the most of it.
Whether you’ve been down this road before or are a deployment newbie, knowing how to prepare for deployment as a spouse is essential. Sucking it up and suffering through it isn’t preparing. Well, it is, but it’s preparing you to hate the next few months of your life. Instead of settling for surviving during deployment, I’m sharing deployment tips for spouses to help you thrive during deployment.
22 Deployment Tips for Spouses to Deal with Deployment
So, how do military wives deal with deployment? Using these 22 military spouse tips for when your husband is away.
1. Do Fun Stuff
Sitting around your house bored, lonely, and sad will only make deployment harder. Military wives deal with deployment by creating joy, even when they don’t feel joyful. Create opportunities to have fun, laugh, and enjoy yourself while your spouse is away.
2. Create Connection
One of my favorite ways to thrive during deployments is to stay crazy connected to my husband, even when he’s gone. I talk about this concept on the Simply Resilient Podcast. Listen to Episode 14 and Episode 28 if you want to know how to deal with deployment as a wife without sacrificing your connection with your husband.
3. Prioritize Simplicity
You may be tempted to create busyness to distract yourself from feeling sad or lonely, but prioritizing simplicity is a better option, especially if you have kids. Solo-parenting is hard, so don’t add unnecessary things to your already busy plate–you’re doing the work of two parents now.
4. Use Technology
Thank goodness for technology when it comes to how to deal with deployment as a wife. My kids and I love using the Marco Polo app when my husband is gone to send him little videos he can watch on his own time. You might have limited time to connect over the phone between time differences and busy schedules. But you can exchange Marco Polo videos whenever works best for you. (Military families get Marco Polo Pro for FREE–try it today!)
5. Ask for Help
Building a support system is one of the best military spouse tips. Solo parenting is tough. What are you supposed to do when one kid needs picked up from soccer practice while the other one is in a dentist appointment that’s running long? Ask for help. Not good at asking for help? That’s ok! Read my three tips for asking for help during deployments.
6. Allow Yourself to Feel [Insert Emotion]
You’re going to feel sad at times, and that’s ok. You’re going to feel like an unhappy military wife at times, and that’s ok. You’re going to feel lonely, mad, frustrated, overwhelmed, relieved, happy, excited, depressed, etc.–you’ll likely go through all these emotions when your spouse is deployed. Don’t stuff them! Learn how to allow yourself to feel your feelings without judgment.
7. Manage Your Thoughts
As important as it is to allow yourself to feel, it’s equally important to manage your mind. Thinking sad thoughts will make you feel sad. Thinking overwhelming thoughts will make you feel overwhelmed. Thinking hopeful thoughts will make you feel hopeful. You want to know: how do military wives deal with deployment? Get to know your lower brain, and learn how to think more helpful thoughts!
8. Take Care of Yourself
While sitting on the couch watching sad movies and eating ice cream or sipping wine every night is easy, it’s not the most constructive way to deal with deployment as a wife. Take care of yourself. Prioritize movement–join a workout class, online fitness program, or yoga class. Take care of your body while building community. Eat healthy foods. Read good books. Listen to your favorite music. Go on a hike.
9. Get Social
Hang out with friends. If you don’t live near your friends, get on a Zoom call with them. Make a plan to “hang out” via a Zoom call girl’s night every Friday night. Spend time with your family. Make friends with the new military spouse who is also wondering how to deal with deployment as a wife–she needs friends and social support, too.
10. Countdown with Your Kids
A countdown calendar is a fun way to build anticipation for your husband’s return. It can also be a great way to help your kids visualize how much longer till dad is home.
11. Be Proud, Not Mad
It’s easy to feel mad about your situation. I mean, let’s face it: spending months without your husband, partner, and best friend isn’t an ideal situation. However, it is your reality. And instead of being mad about it, choose to be proud of your husband and his dedication and hard work that not only benefits your family but our great country.
12. Get out of Your Pajamas
Put some real clothes on. You’ll feel better.
13. Get out of the House
Get some sunshine (while wearing your real clothes). You’ll feel even better.
14. Treat Yourself
While your husband isn’t around to make you feel special, treat yourself. Get yourself a military spouse care package or take yourself out for a romantic dinner or buy yourself flowers (one of my favorite ways to deal with deployment as a wife)!
15. Start Something New
Another of my favorite deployment tips for spouses is to start something new because that’s precisely what I did and why Simply Resilient Life Coaching is here today. I started my business during my husband’s last deployment, and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. So, whether it’s starting a business, trying a new hobby, accomplishing a goal, going back to school, or something else, use this time to start or achieve something you’ll be proud of.
16. Try a New Hair Style
This is a fun one: go blonde or brown or short or spiky! Switch up your hairstyle while your spouse is gone. If you love it, keep it. If you don’t, you’ll have plenty of time to go back to your usual look before your husband returns.
17. Embrace Your Strength
If there’s ever a time to embrace your inner independence, it’s when your husband is deployed. On the hardest days, you just have to put your big girl panties on and power through it. Remember how strong you are–that you were made to be an amazing military wife (and mother). You can do it. You can do it. You can do it.
18. Plan Something Special for When He’s Back
They say planning a trip or special event is just as fun (if not more) than actually doing the thing. Use this to your advantage, and plan something special for your husband. Save money to go on a trip with just the two of you or schedule a couple’s massage and overnight stay at a nice hotel near your home.
19. Take Ownership of Your Happiness
Nobody feels happy all the time–that’s just not realistic. But it’s important to remember that you’re in charge of your own happiness, not your husband or your kids or your family or friends. Just you, which is empowering. You can be happy, even when your spouse is gone or solo parenting is hard or you’re lonely. You can still be happy.
20. Listen to Podcasts
Listening to podcasts is one of my favorite ways to pass the time, learn something new, and feel less alone during deployments. Not sure where to start? Grab my Simply Resilient Podcast Roadmap for 10 episodes to listen to today!
21. Choose to be in a Good Mood on Calls
You might not always be in a good mood when your husband calls, but because calls are far and few between, choose to be in a good mood. Choose not to vent on the calls or use it as a time to share all the hard things that have been going on unless it’s something they absolutely need to know. If not, you can fill them in (if it’s still relevant) when they get home.
22. Hire a Resilience Coach for Military Wives
What is resilience coaching for military wives? As a military wife reliance coach, I can help you tap into your inner resiliency by focusing on important topics like:
- Emotional health
- Time management
- Goal setting
- And so much more!
Life coaching can change your life. And I don’t say that because I’m a life coach. I say it because life coaching changed my life, which is why I started my business to help military wives like you!
So, How Do Military Wives Deal with Deployment?
We take ownership of our thoughts and happiness. We put on real clothes, get out of the house, and spend time with friends and family. We try something new and prioritize simplicity. We tap into our inner strength to make it through the hard days and remind ourselves how proud we are of our amazing, hard-working husbands who will be home before we know it. And most importantly, we don’t do it alone.
If you want 1:1 support, encouragement, and advice about how to prepare for deployment as a spouse, let’s chat. I’d love to share how I can help you thrive as a military wife during deployments and beyond. Schedule a free mini coaching session today!
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