Common Military Wife Struggles and How to Overcome Them

Being a military wife is one of the most challenging jobs in the world. It requires strength, resilience, and the ability to adapt to change quickly. From long deployments to frequent moves, you’ll face numerous military wife struggles and challenges. This blog post is for the military spouse who has been doing this for a while and needs fresh ideas, and the military girlfriend or finacé wanting to prepare well for the military wife struggles that lie ahead.

6 Military Wife Struggles and Tips for Overcoming Them

The unique challenges we experience as military spouses can take a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. You are not alone, and I hope you find new ways to overcome your struggles with these tips, suggestions, and ideas!

Military Wife Struggle #1: Frequent Relocations

A common struggle military wives face is frequent relocations. Moving every few years can be stressful and overwhelming, especially if you have to leave behind friends and family. It can also be challenging to adjust to a new community, find new friends, and get used to a new environment–while helping your kids do the same if you’re a parent. 

How to Overcome It:

One way to overcome the challenge of frequent relocations is to focus on the positives of moving. Each new location presents an opportunity to explore a new place, meet new people, and try new things. Get involved in the community by joining clubs or organizations that align with your interests. Attend local events and explore the area to familiarize yourself with your new home. Most importantly, adjust how you think about moving by choosing positive, helpful thoughts that generate positive, helpful feelings. 

Military Wife Struggle #2: Long Periods of Separation

Long separations can take a toll on you, your spouse, and your kids. Whether due to deployment, training, or other military obligations, being away from your partner for extended periods can be sad, challenging, and overwhelming.

How to Overcome It:

One way to cope with long periods of separation is to find a rhythm that works for you. It’s not just about “staying busy” but finding ways to use your time to the fullest. Focus on your hobbies and interests, learn a new skill, or start a business like I did! You can also stay connected with your spouse through phone calls, video chats, and letters. It’s essential to have a support system in place, whether family, friends, or a military support group. Staying connected to your community and family can help ease the stress of separation and make the time pass more quickly.

Military Wife Struggle #3. Financial Challenges

Some military families face financial challenges, such as living on a tight budget and managing debt due to frequent moves, deployments, and unexpected expenses. However, there are resources available to help you manage your finances, such as financial counseling and military-specific programs like the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society or the Army Emergency Relief.

How to Overcome It:

One way to overcome financial challenges is to create a budget and stick to it. Look for ways to save money, such as buying in bulk, shopping at discount stores, and taking advantage of military discounts. It’s also essential to have an emergency fund in place to cover unexpected expenses. If you’re struggling with debt, consider reaching out to a financial counselor or attending a financial workshop offered through your military installation.

Military Wife Struggle #4. Balancing Career, Family, and Self Care

Between parenting, household responsibilities, and everything else, creating balance as a military wife can be tough, especially when your spouse is away on deployment or training. One of the biggest military wife struggles I’ve experienced, and have helped my clients overcome, is a lack of self-care. As wives and mothers, we get so busy taking care of our household and family that we forget to take care of ourselves. This can quickly lead to burnout, depression, and more. 

How to Overcome It:

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Learn how to self-coach yourself. Focus on becoming more flexible in life. Find ways to minimize stress. And work with a resilience coach for military wives to learn how to build your inner resilience to thrive in your roles.

Military Wife Struggle #5: Dealing with the Fear of the Unknown

Military life is full of uncertainty, which can be stressful and overwhelming. There’s always the fear of the unknown, whether related to your spouse’s safety, the next duty station, or your family’s future.

How to Overcome It:

One way to cope with the fear of the unknown is to choose to think thoughts that generate positive feelings about your future. Make a plan for what you can control, and actively decide not to stress about the rest. No matter how many potential situations you come up with in your mind, you don’t know what will happen. So rather than letting the fear of the unknown keep you from enjoying the present, concentrate on what you can control.

Military Wife Struggle #6. Feeling Isolated and Alone

One of the biggest military wife struggles is loneliness. It can be difficult being away from family and friends. And the loneliness gets harder when your spouse is away for weeks, months, or years at a time. 

How to Overcome It:

If you feel like a lonely military wife, it’s essential to accept your feelings, embrace them, and stop resisting them. While you might think filling up your schedule with tasks, phone calls with friends, and lunches will distract you enough to where you don’t feel lonely, it doesn’t actually fix the root of the issue. That is: your thoughts about being alone. How you think about being alone creates your experience of being alone and feeling lonely. Listen to Summer How-to Series: How to Be OK Being Alone to dive into this topic more!

You’re Not Alone in Your Military Wife Struggles

If you’re a military wife struggling with any of the challenges mentioned above, know that you are not alone. As a military wife for over 15 years, I have experienced all of these struggles at one point or another. However, I have also learned that with the right mindset and tools, it’s possible not only to survive but thrive as a military wife. 

As a resilience coach for military wives, I am here to support you in overcoming the challenges that come with military life. Through personalized coaching and resources, I can help you build resilience, maintain a positive mindset, and find joy in your journey as a military spouse. Remember, you don’t have to face these military wife struggles alone. Together, we can overcome any obstacle and help you thrive as a military girlfriend, finacé, and wife. Schedule a free mini coaching session with me today!