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Willing to Feel Negative Emotions


I'm working with a client who is preparing to foster some children in her home. Here's a message is sent
to her that I wanted to share here:

"There is a very real possibility that you will take these girls in or other kids in, fall in love with them, and
then not get to have them in your homes.  You understand this risk and it feels very scary. You have to
decide if having them in your lives and in your hearts and getting to feel that love for them is worth the
potential loss and heartache that may come.  That is the power of the model because we can let our
brains go to the worst possible scenario of any circumstance and know that what will come with that
scenario is negative feelings and we know how to feel negative feelings.  We know how to take the good
and bad of life. We don't have to be afraid of negative emotion, because we know it is not dangerous.
We know how to experience it. The upside of this is that you get to have the amazing loving and life
changing experiences that come with fostering to adopt even if they're followed up with heart breaking
loss.  When you are willing to do bigger things even though you're increasing your chances of big
negative emotions, you have bigger positive experiences too. Your life is like a circle and one half of the
circle is positive emotions and one half is negative emotions. If you live a small life with little to no risk or
vulnerability, you will not have very many negative emotions, but you will also shrink the side of the circle
that contains your positive experiences and emotions.  When you learn how to manage your mind and
process negative emotions the whole world opens up to you and you are able to have huge experiences
in both halves of the circle. When you get to the point that there isn't an emotion you are not willing to
feel your life is filled with endless possibilities."

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