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Questioning Thoughts

A client of mine who is trying to decide if it's time to leave her husband or not brought up some ways she
believes her husband was trying to control her and make it so that she couldn't leave even if she wanted
to. I sent her this message with my thoughts about this:

"My main thought for you about that scenario is if you decide to leave nothing will stop you, not money,
not your husband, not the timing. This thought/belief is available to you.  Right now you are choosing to
think things like "If I'm only working 2 hours a day I won't be able to leave because I won't have
enough money." I know that if you decide to leave you'll do whatever it takes to make it happen and take
care of yourself and the kids.

Try replacing some of your current thoughts with "I wonder why..." like:

"I wonder why he doesn't feel like he is responsible" or
"I wonder why he feels like he needs to say these things to me" or
"I wonder why he wants me to work less." 

Those thoughts will hopefully take you to curious instead of where you currently are. You could also try
on thoughts like:

"I don't know why he isn't taking responsibility for these things, but I know it's not my responsibility and I
feel good about who I'm showing up as" or
"When he says things like that I used to get hurt, but now I know they mean something about him and not
me. His words can't hurt me."  or
"I'm worried he is trying to control me by getting me to work less, but I know that I control me and if I
decide to leave that I'll do whatever it takes to take care of myself and my kids."


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