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Leaving From Spring vs Leaving From Winter

Our relationships have seasons. In a romantic relationship when we meet and fall in love, that's summer. When our relationship matures and we get married that's Fall. Naturally most relationships have occasional winters where you struggle or don't feel close and lots of relationships naturally move into Spring where you find each other again. The cycle continues in a variety of ways and it's important to understand it because we often think our marriage is over when we're in winter. Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't, but I really recommend doing what it takes to move into spring (even if you move into spring alone and your husband stays in winter) before you decide if it's over. Once you move into spring and depending on how you are feeling and what you are wanting and what your relationship looks like from spring you can stay or go from a place of love.  Not from a place of fear, panic, retreat, pain, hurt, desperation, etc. that leaving from winter brings.  

Now let me say, you can totally just leave from winter.  That option is completely available to you. All options are always available to you.  But if you leave from winter you have merely changed the circumstances, you haven't cleaned up your thinking and that means those problems still exist and they will come up again in your life, maybe in your job or another relationship or in your mothering etc.

If you can get your thinking cleaned up about your spouse's ability to hurt you, that is the journey of
moving into spring. It is hard and it is going to change who you are. You are going to become a different
person. When you become a different person, your relationship will change and we don't know yet what
that will look like.  You will then be completely ready to decide if it's time to stay or go.

Check out this episode from Jody Moore about the seasons that our relationships go through:


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