How do I trust my husband? How do I avoid falling out of love during deployment? How do I keep intimacy during deployment? These are valid questions military spouses grapple with leading up to and during their husband’s deployment. Let’s dive into some common questions about trusting your husband and keeping intimacy alive while you’re physically separated for weeks, months, or even years at a time.
How Does Deployment Affect Spouses?
It’s no secret that being a military wife to a deployed husband isn’t a walk in the park. Deployment can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and feelings of loneliness due to the physical separation and lack of communication. Spouses left behind may struggle with the additional responsibilities of managing the household alone, juggling finances, childcare, and other daily tasks. They may also worry about their partner’s safety, which can lead to sleep disturbances and mental health issues like depression.
The good news is that it’s not all bad news! Deployment can also foster personal growth, resilience, and independence as spouses learn to navigate life on their own. It’s a complex experience that can bring about a range of emotions and challenges. Your feelings are valid, no matter what they are!
Do Military Relationships Last Through Deployment?
Absolutely! Falling out of love during deployment does not have to be your story. Many military relationships not only endure through deployment but often emerge stronger. While the separation brought about by deployment is undoubtedly challenging, it also provides an opportunity for couples to deepen their communication, strengthen their trust, and reaffirm their commitment to one another.
The shared experience of navigating the complexities of deployment can help foster a unique bond and resilience. However, the success of these relationships often hinges on factors such as the strength of the relationship before deployment, the strategies used to manage the separation, and the support systems in place. It’s important to note that every relationship is different, and while some may thrive, others may struggle. With the right tools, resources, and mindset, military relationships can indeed last through deployment.
How Do You Keep Your Marriage Strong During Deployment?
Keeping your military marriage strong during deployment starts in your mind. By constantly focusing on the love you have for your husband, the good qualities that make him unique, and the strength of your relationship, you can maintain a strong connection even when miles apart.
It’s about cherishing the shared memories, celebrating the good times, and remembering the reasons why you fell in love. It’s also about envisioning your future together, which gives you both something to look forward to. This mental and emotional investment in your marriage serves as a powerful reminder of its value, helping you weather the challenges deployment brings.
15 Strategies for Trusting Your Husband and Keeping Your Military Relationship Strong During Deployment
Whether you’re wondering how to make military relationships work or how to keep intimacy during deployment or even how to trust your husband while he’s away, here are 15 strategies and practices that’ll help.
How to Make Military Relationships Work
- Strong Communication: Good communication is the backbone of any relationship. Use technology to your advantage and keep the lines open with regular phone calls, emails, video chats, and even handwritten letters.
- Trust and Honesty: Trust is essential. Always be honest with each other about your feelings and concerns, and trust that your partner will do the same.
- Support Network: Having a strong support network is crucial to help manage the stress and loneliness that can come with deployment. Surround yourself with friends, family, and other military spouses who understand what you’re going through and can offer encouragement and advice.
- Future Planning: Planning for the future can provide something positive to focus on during tough times. Discuss your goals and dreams together, and work toward them even when you’re apart.
- Independence: Being comfortable with independence is a must for military wives. Embrace the time apart as an opportunity to pursue personal interests, develop new skills, or further your own career, which can also contribute to your overall happiness and satisfaction in life.
How to Keep Intimacy During Deployment
- Intentional Thoughts: Actively reflecting on past intimate moments in your relationship can help strengthen the bond in the present. When you’re missing intimate connection while your spouse is deployed, remind yourself of all the special moments you had when you were together.
- Virtual Dates: With the help of technology, you can plan virtual dates to keep the spark alive. Watch a movie at the same time, enjoy a meal together over video chat, or play an online game to share experiences and create memories.
- Love Letters: Writing love letters can be a romantic way to express your affection and desire for your partner. It’s a tangible reminder of your love that your partner can hold onto during those times when they are feeling lonely or missing you. They also make for great mementos–some couples save them in shadow boxes or albums to reminisce on later.
- Care Packages: Sending care packages filled with your partner’s favorite things is a sweet gesture that shows you’re thinking about them. You can include personal items like a piece of clothing with your scent on it, which can create a sense of physical closeness despite the distance.
- Countdown Rituals: Create a countdown ritual to the end of deployment. This could be something simple like marking off days on a calendar or something more elaborate. This practice gives both of you something to look forward to and reinforces the temporary nature of the separation.
How to Keep Trusting Your Husband When He’s Away
- Maintain Emotional Intimacy: Keep the emotional connection strong by sharing your feelings, thoughts, and experiences regularly. This level of intimacy can help you trust your husband more as it encourages openness and mutual understanding, even when he’s away.
- Set Expectations: Clearly define what you both expect from each other during the period of separation. Understanding and respecting these expectations can help maintain trust and prevent misunderstandings or disappointments.
- Trust-Building Activities: Engage in activities that build trust, even from a distance. For example, planning future events together, sharing daily experiences, or even watching a movie at the same time can foster a sense of togetherness and trust.
- Give the Benefit of the Doubt: It’s important to give your spouse the benefit of the doubt in ambiguous situations. Jumping to conclusions without thorough understanding can erode trust, while patience and understanding can reinforce it.
- Seek Reassurance When Needed: There’s no harm in seeking reassurance from your husband if you’re feeling insecure or doubtful. His response can provide comfort and reinforce your trust in him, ensuring that doubts don’t fester into bigger issues.
Trusting Your Husband Starts in Your Mind: Resilience Coaching Can Help
As a resilience coach for military wives, I can help you put those 15 strategies for trusting your husband and keeping your relationship strong into practice during deployment. I specialize in helping wives thrive during deployment, not just survive, and it all starts in your mind. Your thoughts are so powerful, and I want to teach you how to harness them to create a strong, intimate marriage, whether your spouse is home or away. Schedule a free mini coaching call today to learn more about resilience coaching for military wives!
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